I Was Raised to Be a Clone

I was raised to be a clone

with no sense of self,

like an appendage,

controlled by another.

Anything that didn’t measure up

to their beliefs, ways, or thoughts

was quickly smashed,

along with me.

I was never free

to become

uniquely

me,

in

their

presence.

And now,

I still have memories

of the pain of being

different and not

measuring up,

of needing

to be

exactly

the

same.

I’ve tried to blend in,

chameleon-like,

but that is death to me.

My sense of self

comes creeping up,

like a shadow coming alive,

but then, I become afraid

and try to stomp it out,

just like what

was done

to me.

I don’t want to be a murderer,

but I am so afraid,

that if I am so different,

I will be rejected,

again and again,

as I have been,

from time immemorial.

I’m continually told,

I should be different,

fit this mold,

or else,

I will not love you,

I will not be with you,

I will not talk to you,

I will not hug you.

Apparently,

the choice

to be

me

is

very,

very,

very

lonely.

Precious Linda, c. 2013

There's a New Day Coming!

sadness

      tears

overwhelming pain

    memories

that won’t go away

memories

      keep circling

‘round and ‘round

 the body

    remembers

              the

                   pain

tears 

    falling

         freely

 slowly,

   at

     first,

 then building

        into a

     

                                              O!!!

                                           D

g                                    N

  r                               E

   o                         C

    w                    s

      I               e

       N         r

         G   c

B-U-R-S-T-I-N-G

   the tension

       and fears,

 with gut-wrenching sobs

      and  more

    and  more

         tears

a shake and

       a  tremble

feeling  t i r e d

   worn out

         and

            d e p l e t e d

 shaken

            and

                    spent

t

  h

 e

       n

  with 

  each

   tiny

 breath

comes a

new sense

 of  peace

   and

  r

     e

      s

         t

  for  the

    soul

of the one

    who

   takes

  a breath

     and  

   breathes

        in

 the breath of  

    new life

     deeply 

 into their soul,

     knowing

       they

        are

        still

     ALIVE,

   living and

     whole,

   believing

      there

     truly is

        a

     NEW

     DAY

  COMING!!

Precious Linda, c. 2013

Here's something new... a form of visual poetry... for my posting for April 5th!